


Bottled Up

by st4rryeyed



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, F/M, Zutara, Zutara Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st4rryeyed/pseuds/st4rryeyed
Summary: My one shot for Zutara Week 2020! Day 6: AffirmThe conversation Zuko and Katara needed to have after the final Agni Kai.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Bottled Up

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is pretty obvious, but this is supposed to take place at the time where all the Gaang members are chilling in the Earth Kingdom after Ozai is defeated! And, Sokka is doodling his little drawing, Zuko is passing out tea...so like the last few minutes of the final episode! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!! Thank you for reading!!

It was settled.

Ozai had been defeated, and Zuko was a beacon of hope as the new Fire Lord. The Avatar would continue to help restore balance in the world. It was as if pieces of a seemingly never ending puzzle finally went together. It was a celebratory time.

And, although Zuko knew that this was a momentous occasion, something worth being happy about and celebrating…he wasn’t happy, and perhaps, like he had acknowledged before, maybe he never really was happy, _ever_. But this time, it was different, he knew _why_ he was unhappy.

He looked across the room at the blue eyed water bender, her long hair cascaded down her back and was decorated with a single pink flower. She laughed, and smiled at her friends around her, he knew she was completely oblivious to his feelings inside.

He loved Mai, he really did, wholeheartedly. But looking at Katara, thinking of the lightning burning through his veins, their quiet moments to and from the Southern Raiders, and all their times together in between…he couldn’t help but feel a connection, and it was something deeper than he could ever feel with Mai, that he ever felt with anyone.

Him and Katara hadn’t even really spoken about the Agni Kai, and what transpired, and Zuko wanted to talk about it. He knew that within the next few weeks, Katara would become a shadow, a figure that had come…and then suddenly left his life completely. Her voice would echo in his brain on a constant loop and she would forever hold his heart in her hands unknowingly, and he wanted, at least, before she leave him, to speak about everything that happened. He wanted her to know that he cared for her, that he would take a hundred more lightning bolts if it meant she were safe.

Once Zuko had finished passing out tea to Iroh and the rest of his friends, he lingered by Katara’s side for a moment.

“Katara, can I talk to you?” Zuko inquired quietly.

The others looked to Zuko in confusion, but soon after, they all went back to what they were doing.

Katara nodded, and she gave Zuko a halfhearted smile.

The pair exited the room and stood next to a window in the hallway. The sun was setting, and the sky was a blazing orange. Its light settled on their faces and the shadows of clouds gently moved across the floor.

“Is everything alright? Is it the scar on your chest? Do you need an emergency healing session?” Katara asked, she seemed flustered. Zuko figured this would be her response, he felt most of her friends only came to her when they needed something, so her assuming Zuko only wanted to talk to her solely for the purpose of her healing abilities was no surprise to him.

“No, it’s not that.” Zuko replied. His heart began to race, maybe speaking with her wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Katara raised an eyebrow at him.

“What happened back there, with Azula I just—“

“Zuko, you don’t have to say anything.” Katara interrupted, she crossed her arms and broke eye contact with him.

“No, but Katara, I-I do. You saved my life.” Zuko croaked, he felt his palms begin to produce sweat and his throat began to swell.

“You saved mine.” Katara responded, she looked up to him, her eyes began to water, and it appeared she knew that it was happening, so she flicked her wrist and the tears were bent away from her eyes.

Zuko realized that the reason they hadn’t really talked about the Agni Kai was because there wasn’t much to say. Thinking about the whole thing was surreal for the each of them, it was a life or death situation and it’s much easier to act like it wasn’t a big deal and move on without feeling the pain and fear throughout the ordeal. But, this realization didn’t stop Zuko from wanting to speak to her about it.

The phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ was more than applicable to the situation. Zuko laid down his life for Katara, she had to know how he felt about her. Though, Zuko knew he wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, so he decided he needed to be straight forward, before it was too late.

“I really care about you Katara, and I’m just…scared.” Zuko took a small step forward. He knew he was being vague, he couldn’t help it, but he was hoping she would catch on to what he was trying to say.

“Scared of what? Azula? Your father? They’re gone, away, locked up. You can be _you_ now, there isn’t anything holding you back. You are so strong, and you’re gonna do amazing things for the world. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” Katara babbled, but Zuko listened to every word.

Zuko stayed quiet for a moment, she didn’t understand what he meant, and it became more evident to him than ever that the feelings he had for her were not reciprocated whatsoever, and when this thought crossed his mind, he felt tears begin to well up in his eyes.

“Zuko…you can tell me…” Katara trailed off, she took a step closer to him. She rested her fragile fingers on his scar, Zuko felt protected under her touch. She began to slowly bend his tears away.

“I’m scared of losing you.” He nearly whispered.

Katara froze, her hand rested atop his scar. Her cerulean eyes stared into his, and Zuko felt his quick heartbeat begin to cease as he felt the comfort that resided in the ocean of her eyes.

“Oh.” She sighed, it was barely a response, and more of an assuring breath. Zuko could see it…that she understood exactly what he meant.

He could see her emotions slowly begin to change, there was surprise in her eyes, and she bit her lip for a moment, as if holding back words to a dark secret.

Zuko wanted her to reply with, ‘you won’t lose me’ or ‘I’m not going anywhere’, but he knew that she wouldn’t, because Katara never made promises she couldn’t keep. And, he knew, that in a few days she would be gone, away with Aang, or perhaps home at the Southern Water Tribe. He knew that their small conversations and moments that meant so much to him would erase from her mind completely.

And Zuko? He would go on with Mai, and he did love her, but not in the same way he loved Katara. His love for Katara was rare, genuine, something that he’d never felt before. He’d lay down his life for her a hundred more times, hear her ramble about anything, even if disinterestingto him, for hours on end, and he could simply just be in her presence, they could be sitting in absolute silence, but he would feel the most at ease by her side rather than anywhere else in the world

He wondered if Katara shared similar feelings, but was better at keeping them concealed, after all, she is the person people go to when they need something…and maybe she felt she was more needed somewhere else, away from Zuko, with Aang perhaps, and it hurt him. Not only because of his strong feelings toward Katara but he knew she was meant for such much more than just being a ‘safe haven’ for people, she was so strong and capable of more than she ever would give herself credit for…she could change the world, Zuko thought.

But he remembered _Aang_ was the one who ‘needed’ her, and so the world took a backseat.

Her hand still rested on his scar, and her eyes stared into his, longingly almost. Zuko wished he could read her mind in that moment, and he wished he could be within her touch forever. He felt the urge to place a small kiss on her lips, but he resisted, knowing it would only make the reality of it all so much worse.

She slowly removed her hand from his scar and dropped her arm to her side. She took a step back.

“You know, we can’t do this, ok? It’s going to be better if we just…keep going….without…this.” Katara said, she stood up straight and took a deep breath.

It was in this moment, within her response, that Katara unknowingly affirmed she felt the same way Zuko felt about her. Her guard was down, and Zuko knew exactly what she was doing.

“Better for who? Better for Aang? Because, I know damn well it’s not better for you. I know you.” Zuko retorted, he took a step closer to her.

“Oh? You know me now?” Katara scoffed, she threw her arms in the air and looked out the window at the sunset. She rested her arms on the sill, and kept her eye contact away from Zuko.

Conflicting emotions spiraled throughout her expression as she gazed at the parting clouds and golden light.

“I do, actually. I know you’re capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. Agni, Katara, you’re so much more than someone’s shoulder to lean on! You’re the best bender I’ve ever seen…I’ve seen you angry, sad, happy, absolutely exhausted…I’ve seen it all, so don’t act like I don’t know you.” Zuko expanded.

Katara looked over at him, daggers in her eyes.

“Don’t you even pull that with me!” Katara raised her voice at him, she placed her hands on his chest and shoved him backward.

He stumbled slightly, but was more taken aback by her sudden burst of emotions.

“I know you know me, ok? I know. You know me better than anyone. But this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. It isn’t. And, maybe I am meant for more, maybe I already kind of know what the future from here on out holds… and maybe I don’t like it very much but I can’t just…” Katara trailed off. Tears were falling from her eyes but this time she didn’t bend them away. They rolled down her cheeks and fell silently to the floor, and it hurt Zuko to see.

“Screw how it’s supposed to go! Screw it, Katara. Stay here with me, become an ambassador for the Southern Water Tribe, help change the world with me. Don’t let this be our last _real_ conversation, I know that our time together when we went to the Southern Raiders, and hell, facing Azula meant just as much to you as it meant to me. And damn it, every moment we had together, every single one! Every second I spent with you, it was like I could finally breathe after being suffocated for sixteen years! I don’t want you to be someone who comes into my life and just disappears, _not_ you. _Anyone_ but you. Agni, I need you here. I do…because now, after having you in my life, I have no idea how I’m going to survive without you in it. And don’t just do this for me, do it for you, because sometimes, _you_ need _you_ , Katara, and I don’t think you realize that sometimes, and I _know_ that what’s gonna happen next isn’t what you want.” Zuko said, he stared at her, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Don’t say that!” Katara exclaimed, she almost pushed him backward again, but she refrained.

“You know it’s the truth. You know it, Katara.” Zuko reiterated.

“I know it’s the truth, but I want you to stop making it real. And I want you to stop acting so perfect so it’s easier for me to let go of you, to let go of the idea of you, and to let go of this idea of another me. Because we both know damn well it can’t happen.” Katara explained, her chest rose and fall rapidly. Zuko could tell Katara had these feelings bottled up inside for awhile.

Zuko took a step closer to her, he gently placed his hand on her cheek.

“Who says it can’t happen? Katara, stop thinking about everyone else. Stop thinking about what they want. Hell, don’t even think about me. What do _you_ want?” Zuko said, he felt his heartbeat pick up once more, as he anticipated her reply.

Zuko could see the answer in her eyes. They had spent so many quiet moments together, to the point where they could nearly read each others’ minds at certain times. This was one of those rare times.

He could see what she wanted, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen.

Katara raised her hand to her cheek, where Zuko’s hand was, she removed his palm as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

“But it’s not about what I want…is it?” Katara concluded. She raised her hand to her cheeks and bent her tears away.

Before Zuko could respond or Katara could elaborate further, the door slid open.

It was Aang. He looked to Zuko and then to Katara.

“Katara…I was hoping I could take you out to the balcony. The sunset’s really beautiful.” Aang said, his eyes lit up at the sight of Katara.

Katara looked to Zuko, her eyes had softened and there was no sign of tears on her face whatsoever. She looked at him for a long moment, before turning back to Aang.

“Sure, um, let’s go.” She said, Aang gestured his hand, and Katara took it.

The pair walked away, and Katara didn’t look back at Zuko.


End file.
